Description

Size: X-Large

Here we f*****g go again.

Once more into the breach Gertrude......or Gertie if you're on more familiar terms with them I guess?

Anyway lookit, this Saturday we're listing a Mens* Regatta Jacket for sale.

(*But it's suitable for any gender being honest, like a jacket's a jacket. genders are societal & social constructs; other political-socio debates available on request)

Can you tell me more about this item please lad?

I can aye.

It's grey, or some b******s will come on here & tell me charcoal or some fancy s***e like that, lookit, I'm not a painter.

Has two sleeves which is convenient if you've two shoulders, arms, hands etc.

At the end of these two sleeves are two cuffs, they're elasticated though if you're a shoplifter I wouldn't be trying to hide too much up them as there's a bit of give & your Jack Daniels or can/s of Koppaberg Mixed Fruit Cider might slide out.

Has a hoodie; not a fan being honest; they're either for chavs & crackheads or hipsters & we're not one of them.

If it's raining just wear a shower cap; they're €2.50 in Penneys & they've at least two different types on sale; very fashionable.

But lookit if you'd rather a hood than a shower cap in the rain, you be you & we'll be us.

There's a zip in the middle of the jacket to close it up........

Anything else?

Not really lad, like it's a jacket, not a car or a table & chairs or draining board etc.

You wear it, the end.

All the usual Ts & Cs apply.

No "Have you 2 Euro for a hostel?" types need apply.

Hostels aren't that cheap lads, sure I dossed in the Arlo in about 2000 one night & even back then, pre the Euro, if I'd offered them 2 Euro they'd've presumed I was doing a payment plan & would come back daily til I'd saved up.

Not modelling it; the price would increase accordingly if I did that; I did once model in the 80s but I was too good at it; went down the red carpet, did a twirl, probably ate one too.

No "I'll pay ya when the mainto for my 15th Sprog Tarky-Narky has been paid by Danno who's currently doing time in the Joy but will be out in 10 months" types need apply.

Name's Billy lads, not silly.

Won't be strong-armed on price; not under any time or financial pressure to sell this item, it can sit there til the day the undertakers come to collect me for the Anatomical Research Programme in the RCSI for all I give a whit (that's "whit" but I could've swapped "s" for "w" obviously.....).

As always collection only in "Carlow Lad" but can post & if it's Dublin, Kilkenny or Waterford I can meet buyer on the choo-choo.

Dublin preferred if so so's I can get my traditional Nine Piece Chicken Nugget Meal going back in S'Macs in Heuston.

Waterford's alright but it still rankles with me the hotel wouldn't send me back up my Simpsons Mug Kris Kindle yoke from about 2012 or 2014; bad memories like, think it included a pair of socks or some other such novelty yoke in it too.

Kilkenny's nice too but it's not Wexford; I've checked.

Size is XL; I'm talking about the jacket now, not me.

I'm not for sale; sure who'd have me like?

Anyway lookit, interested parties can make themselves known to me by making a bid or whatever & all Es of I, that's Expressions of Interest, will be considered.

Ideally looking for €75 for this item if you're feeling generous but open to negotiation on price.

No Swapsies; I don't want yer leftover Play Blue "toy" thanks all the same.

Now g'wan,get up the yard, there's a smell of Benjy off ya.

P.S. Just cos tag's still on it doesn't mean it was shoplifted; you try lifting the Regatta Shop upstairs in Haddens Shopping Centre on Tullow St. & let me know how you go; it's not easy to be fair.