Clock

Clock, spelled with an "l", is for sale.

Purchased in September 2008 in Arnotts for a 50th Birthday;the party didn't happen in Arnotts though in case you're wondering.....though they've a decent cafe on site but no wine licence.

Remember that time we got caught with the pants down going balls deep into some Russian brasser in some St. Patricks Apartments beside Jurys Christchurch in the Mid 00s with & they met me a week later to give me a refund?

That was terribly nice & understanding of them, if somewhat bizarre......

We met in that very cafe......

Anyway lookit this is worth a bit of wedge; had it valued in a local jewellers here in "Carlow Lad" and the exact same one's going for €117.Something; the only difference between that one in their store & our one is well, that's theirs & this is ours.

Theirs is new & ours. well, isn't but we'll be straight up with you lad, you wouldn't be able tell difference.

Got a new battery for the clock today & all; so it goes tick, and tock & thus tells the time; kind of important for any clock don't you think?

The unit itself is "quare heavy lad"; it'd make a right yoke for a door-stopper but could doing with being a bit higher or some amadán'll probably fall over it.

Or you could throw this through the window instead like?

Could shout something like "Time to leave" maybe?

Get it?

Time to.....our humour's wasted on ye.

Lookit, not much more we can say on this one; it's been in "Da Fam" for 17 years & we're under instructions to realise the maximum value we can for it.

That said not under any financial constraints so won't be strong-armed on price; we're not Sylvester Stallone in Over the Top, a cracker of a film; very under-rated & long forgotten;a bit like Eves Bayou as it happens.

Am 100% open to negotiation on price; ideally higher than lower.......

No Swapsies; we don't want your packet of Polo Mints you've found down back of the D'Arcys Furniture couch from the 90s.

Won't be modelling it; who do you think we are?

Shorty Mac or Johnny Sins?

We are in our hoop gonna hang this off our knob & swing it around for a Tik-Tok or Snap Chat; we'd be far too mature & not sufficiently well-endowed for such an act of frivolty*.

(*Frivolty means a "lack of seriousness; light-heartedness")

Can you tell us more about this fantastic item that you call a clock, spelled with an "l" please sir?

We can aye; it tells the time.....the end.

Collection ideally in "Carlow Lad" but can deliver within reason; can meet at Point X if Point X is a neutral venue.

No P&P on this; the cost'd be prohibitive to point of being pointless; get up the yard, there's a smell of Benjy off you....

All the usual Ts & Cs apply.

No Mickey Money Tuesday types need apply.

No "I'll pay ya when my 13th Sprog Flagrantina-Pranto-Decker-Murtlock-Heimlicks-Cinders Eiles Dads giro from the labour clears once he's out of borstal tripes need apply.

All Duck or No Dinner on this one please.

No stupid questions; no tyre-kickers, no "Can I have it for charidee"; you can absolute go & **** yourselves..

It would look good on your mantlepiece if you had one; otherwise you can just buy it & pretend you have a mantlepiece maybe?